How to Include Children with SEN at Weddings: A Guide to Making Your Wedding Inclusive
Are you getting married but have a family member, a friend has a child who has additional needs and you want to have an inclusive wedding? Over the last 10 years of photographing weddings I have seen everything and experienced most things. I have also learnt that weddings are all about bringing people together – families, friends, and everyone in between. But when it comes to including children with Special Educational Needs (SEN), many couples and wedding guests can feel a bit unsure about how to make the day enjoyable, comfortable, and accessible for them. I am very open about my own child who has super powers – Autism & ADHD so I thought i would write a useful blog. Maybe no one will read it, but at least I would have written it!
The good news? With a bit of planning and understanding, you can create a wedding that feels welcoming and inclusive to all, no matter what their needs may be. Whether you’re the couple tying the knot with a child with additional needs, a family member, or a guest bringing children with SEN, here’s everything I think you need to know.
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From Someone Who Gets It
As someone who has a child with additional needs, I completely get it. I know how it feels to worry about whether a space will be accessible, whether there’ll be a quiet spot when things get too much, or whether a photographer will understand your child’s unique needs.
That’s why I approach every wedding with patience, understanding, and a whole lot of flexibility. When it comes to photography, I’ll work with you to make sure we get the photos you want – whether that’s a quick snap in a quiet moment or capturing genuine smiles when no one’s watching. I won’t rush or push, and I’ll always take your lead.
If your child doesn’t want to pose – that’s OK. If they need to run around or take a break – absolutely fine. We’ll find the moments that work, because at the end of the day, your family deserves to be captured exactly as they are – relaxed, happy, and included. I am also a veteran at getting my son to look at a camera and actually smile!
What Are SEN?
Special Educational Needs (SEN) can cover a wide range of conditions and requirements. This includes children with autism, ADHD, sensory processing difficulties, speech and language delays, learning disabilities, anxiety disorders, and physical disabilities. Every child is different, and SEN support is all about making sure that each child can participate in a way that works for them.
Some children might struggle with loud noises or big crowds. Others might need more routine or find it difficult to understand unfamiliar social situations. With that in mind, a traditional wedding day can be overwhelming – but it doesn’t have to be.
Why Inclusion Matters
Weddings are family occasions. They’re about love, joy, and connection – and that means making sure that everyone feels part of the celebration. By being inclusive of children with SEN, you’re not only making things easier for the child, but also for their parents and siblings. It shows thoughtfulness, care, and understanding – the kind of qualities that reflect the heart of a great wedding.
Plus, small changes often benefit all kids, not just those with SEN. And let’s be honest – more relaxed, kid-friendly weddings are often a win for everyone!
Practical Tips for Making Your Wedding SEN-Inclusive
Here are some practical, stress-reducing and thoughtful ways to support children with SEN on your big day:
1. Communicate Early
If you’re inviting children with SEN to your wedding, open a dialogue with their parents or carers well in advance. Ask if there are specific triggers, needs, or strategies that work well for their child. Some parents might not expect special arrangements but will hugely appreciate you asking. Others might suggest really helpful adjustments that you’d never have thought of.
In addiiton – if it is your child with SEN then I am probably teaching you to suck eggs, but honestly be positive, don’t worry if they may get overwhelmed – in most weddings children get overwhelmed and honestly it just doesn’t matter. If they do – you could always ask a close friend or family member or even ask if their TA or someone in school could come for the day and take them away if they need some quiet time.
2. Create a Quiet Space
Weddings are sensory minefields – loud music, clapping, unexpected cheers, and a whole lot of new faces. A quiet, low-stimulation space where a child can retreat when overwhelmed can be a game changer. It doesn’t need to be fancy – just a calm room or corner with books, fidget toys, and soft lighting can do the trick.
This “chill-out zone” can be a real lifesaver not only for SEN children but also for younger kids who just need a breather. I would also recommend noise cancelling headphones – these can be a life saver!
3. Adjust the Schedule Where Possible
Some kids with SEN find transitions tricky or don’t cope well with waiting around. Try to be mindful of the length of the ceremony or downtime between the service and the reception. Can you keep things moving smoothly? Could you let families know when the quieter or busier parts of the day will be?
Even something simple like sharing a visual timeline in advance (especially helpful for children with autism) can reduce anxiety and help them prepare. Honestly parents / guests would really appreciate this – or let them know ahead of time so they can create something.
4. Think About Sensory Considerations
Loud music, flashing lights, and cheering guests can be overwhelming. If you know children with sensory processing difficulties will be attending, consider:
- Turning the music down during dinner or for part of the party.
- Offering child-friendly ear defenders.
- Giving a heads-up before confetti cannons, fireworks or surprise entrances.
- You could even have a silent disco
These small considerations make a massive difference for families who often have to leave events early due to sensory overload.
5. Involve the Child in the Day – in a Way That Works for Them
Every child wants to feel included. For some, that might mean being a flower girl, ring bearer, or reading a poem. For others, it might mean handing out confetti, placing name cards on tables, or just joining in on the dancefloor when it feels right.
It’s all about finding a role that suits their personality and comfort level – and making sure they feel part of the celebration in their own way. Or the kids might not be arsed about being included and that is also cool.
6. Provide SEN-Friendly Activities
Wedding days are long – especially for children. Consider setting up an activity area with sensory-friendly toys, colouring sheets, LEGO, or crafts. You could even create mini goody bags for each child with items suited to their interests and needs.
If you’re hiring childcare or a nanny, consider choosing someone with experience supporting children with additional needs – I have also seen a fair few times where the TA from school has come along to look after the child or take them to the hotel room early on.
7. Be Flexible and Understanding
Above all, it’s important to be flexible. Things might not go exactly to plan – and that’s OK. Children might need to leave a bit earlier, skip the ceremony, or spend more time in the chill-out zone. Go with the flow and focus on what really matters: everyone feeling included and relaxed.
Parents will notice and appreciate your understanding more than you know. As the parents who may be getting married as well – I would simply follow this advice….DO NOT GIVE A SHIT if they need to have a break, if they shout or have a bit of a meltdown. It is your wedding and it’s your family – everyone will understand.
Supporting Parents Too
When parents know their child is welcomed, not just tolerated, it changes everything. They’re more likely to relax, enjoy the day, and feel less like they have to explain or apologise for their child’s behaviour.
If you’re attending a wedding with a child who has SEN, don’t be afraid to advocate for what they need. Most couples want everyone to enjoy their day – they just might not know where to start unless you tell them.
Alternatively do what I would do which is leave them with grandparents and go and get pissed for a night.
Weddings Can Be For Everyone
Including children with SEN in weddings doesn’t have to mean big changes or expensive alterations. It’s about empathy, creativity, and thoughtful planning. A few small adaptations can make a huge impact – and the result is a celebration that truly brings people together.
An inclusive wedding is a far better and It reflects the values of love, family, and connection that sit at the heart of the day.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re planning your own wedding or helping someone else prepare, it’s worth remembering that inclusivity isn’t a burden – it’s a beautiful part of what makes your day meaningful.
By creating a wedding that welcomes children with SEN, you’re setting the tone for a kinder, more thoughtful celebration – and that’s something worth celebrating in itself.
If you’re planning a wedding and want someone behind the camera who truly understands what inclusion looks like, I’d love to chat. Let’s capture all the love, laughter, and calm, quiet moments in between – without stress, pressure, or expectation. Visit Andy Griffiths Photography to get in touch.
